vote for kellypuffs
It’s election time again. I know this because on my drive to and from work, I occasionally see campaign volunteers standing at intersections holding signs and waving to the passing cars. It’s a New England thing – I don’t get it either. Even the Colonel has been known to stand on highway overpasses with election signs.
However, I don’t follow local or national or international politics, so I can’t tell you who the players are, what their platforms are, or how I feel about any of them.
I has occurred to me, though, that I feel pretty strongly about a number of things, and therefore you should vote for me. For what? I don’t know. But if elected, here are the things I will fight for:
- I believe the donut should be the national pastry.
- I believe in turtleneck prom dresses, at least for MY daughter.
- I believe in free wifi EVERYWHERE.
- I believe that fluorescent light fixtures should be banned.
- I believe in Hack Day
- I believe that the wearing of spandex outside of exercise activities should be outlawed
- I believe in the color purple
- I believe in good coffee
- I believe in fining people for “pomposity”
- I WAY believe in the “no assholes” rule
More as I think of them, but in the meantime…
Vote for Kellypuffs!
I forgot the biggest plank in the kellypuffs’ platform …
BAN COMIC SANS!
Need a campaign manager? I’m good at organizing sign-waving.
I think this manifesto means:
- English people get fined for pomposity
- my current customer site gets razed to the ground for the crime of poor coffee
- Mr Packer is outlawed for his spandex habits.
Thank goodness someone else is against Comic Sans!
wonderful site
Then there’s no way I can vote for Puffy, PiperRRRR.
All the rest is good, tho’.
Why ban just “comic sans”?
I think all bad typefaces should be banned, including those that are bold, thin, or without adornment or sans-serifed.
Let’s start with Helvetica.
And its anorexic cousin Arial Light.
And then there’s its overweight cousin Arial Black.
And what’s the deal with AvantGarde – what’s so fancy, schmantzy about AvantGarde. Looks like Ariel to me.
And what about Gautami?
What is a gautami anyways. Sounds like a type of sausage. Or is it a disease.
I know, it’s a disease you get from eating too much sausage.
…