having kittens

So, tomorrow.

GAH!

Tomorrow I get to give a presentation to Danny Sabbah, General Manager of Rational Software.

That’s MISTER Rational to you, bucko.

I’ve slaved and panicked more over these three pathetic PowerPoint slides than I have over any other presentation in my whole, pathetic, Power Point-hating life. (Although the Biz Tech preso in Somers for Hack Day was pretty intense, with Irving W and other dignitaries in the audience.)

I hate PowerPoint.

I hate making slides.

I know next to NOTHING about PowerPoint. My boss reviewed my first cut of slides, where I had stolen borrowed some nifty graphics from one of my peeps’ slides, and said “I don’t like the build-out on slide 4.”

“Build-out”?!?! What the hell is a “build-out”!?!?!

Then my boss’ boss suggested checkmarks for bullets. I swear to God, I had no checkmarks ANYWHERE in PowerPoint. Format bullets didn’t work, I couldn’t find a checkmark in my magical set of fonts, NOTHING. My boss told me where to look. I told him it wasn’t there. He found the checkmarks in seconds.

I’ve been wandering the house tonight, mumbling to myself as I rehearse.

I still need to pick out something to wear BESIDES the patched jeans, Red Sox sweatshirt, and unmatched socks which is my usual workaday uniform.

And yes, you can bet I’ll figure out a way to work Hack Day in there somehow…

11 thoughts on “having kittens

  1. I like the full page photo approach to PowerPoint slides. Apart from avoiding the need to issue the audience with opera glasses, you woudn’t need a check mark! So what is a build-out?!

    Good luck!

  2. A build-out, apparently, is when you animate … ANIMATE, for pity’s sake … a series of graphics on a slide.

    Who knew you could ANIMATE in Power Point?!?!

    I couldn’t even find the damn checkmarks.

  3. Animation is CRAP IMHO. It rarely adds much. But some people think it FLASHY. BTW, I’m sure you’ll do FINE. So enjoy your moment in the spotlight. 🙂

  4. Agreed. I think PowerPoint on the whole is crap and a crutch, and this presentation would so rock if they would just let me do interpretive dance instead.

    With ribbons.

  5. KP – you’ll do fine. You understand the message and how to creatively and intelligently communicate it.

    Most folks don’t They use all those those neat and nifty features only because Powerpoint offers it. Not because their message warrants it.

    Remember the old days. Back when,
    – presentations were a series of simple overheads
    (or foils, transparencies, slides, etc.),
    – it was the message that was presented
    – and it was the presenter that was animated.

    Somewhere along the way, we transitioned to presenting the presenter and animating the message (which usually gets lost in the animation).

    Sigh.

  6. Good luck! A bit on the late side, but if you want any tips on doing hideous animations in PowerPoint, I can help you out there! For one of the community activities here at Hursley I spend an afternoon with 36 thirteen year old girlies teaching them how to do ‘advanced’ animation in PowerPoint and get them to produce animated adverts… it’s probably more fun than presenting to your boss though! 🙂

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