gag a maggot

I’ve only recently become a dog owner, after an entire lifetime of living with cats.

I love cats.

They are quiet, and reserved, neat and fastidious. More fastidious than I, dare I say. They are clean, take pride in their cleanliness, and most importantly, they don’t SMELL.

Unlike Dogbreath.

Even under the best of circumstances, dogs smell. Mostly, they just smell like dogs, which is ok in varying degrees.

Today was NOT one of those days. This morning, he ran out of the house joyfully and returned a horrible, vile, nauseatingly nasty-smelling sack of fur. It wasn’t a skunk he ran into, but it was definitely some musky, poopy variation thereof. Just as cloying as skunk, the smell gets into your brain and in your mouth and nostrils, and you can’t smell anything but that for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of your life.

I may never eat again.

Three baths and one Furminator treatment later, he’s smelling marginally better, and is exiled to the barn until further notice.

Can you Febreze a dog?


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