Dear Hotel in Topeka,
By now, you’ve probably discovered the pile of dirty underwear and socks that Himself inadvertently left on the floor of his hotel room closet.
He’s very sorry about that.
Trust me … it wasn’t some sort of passive-aggressive statement nor a guerilla action. He’s a lovely guy … he’s just an idiot.
We would totally understand if you just called in the Hazmat crew and disposed of said items, after innoculating all staff that came into contact with them, but I have a better idea.
Wouldn’t it be fun to throw them all in a box, plaster the box with customs and insurance forms claiming that the box is full of uncut gems or uncirculated currency, and then leave it somewhere in a conspicuous place?
Just a thought.
Thanks and sorry.