uncut gems

Dear Hotel in Topeka,

By now, you’ve probably discovered the pile of dirty underwear and socks that Himself inadvertently left on the floor of his hotel room closet.

He’s very sorry about that.

Trust me … it wasn’t some sort of passive-aggressive statement nor a guerilla action. He’s a lovely guy … he’s just an idiot.

Like me.

We would totally understand if you just called in the Hazmat crew and disposed of said items, after innoculating all staff that came into contact with them, but I have a better idea.

Wouldn’t it be fun to throw them all in a box, plaster the box with customs and insurance forms claiming that the box is full of uncut gems or uncirculated currency, and then leave it somewhere in a conspicuous place?

Just a thought.

Thanks and sorry.



2 thoughts on “uncut gems

  1. Yeah, you must be an idiot. 🙂 You can’t spell “guerrilla”. 🙂 Or did you mean “gorilla”? 🙂

  2. Socks always die a slow horrible death, away from their dear partner. Giving socks the chance to pass away by the side of their unwashed partner is, to me, an unusual act of kindness that makes the world a better place. himself deserves praise instead of name-calling.

    Ending up in a fake uncut gems box, if it is ever opened by someone, clearly qualifies as socks’ heaven.

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