I realize it’s a very exciting time for you right now … all those gazillions of baby boomers moving into their golden years. I see you’ve even got “baby boomers” in your tag line now:
AARP: Health, Travel, Baby Boomers, blah, blah, blah
The “As Seen on TV” folks are having a ball too. Does the entire world now require fiber to stay regular, life insurance that we CANNOT BE TURNED DOWN for, and/or a hearing aid disguised as a bluetooth earpiece? Noooo, just that gigantic portion of the population now greying, and I hear you cackling with glee.
But honestly. Do you need to send me junk mail/promotional literature every. single. week? Just how many shiny plastic personalized promotional AARP cards do you think I need?
Really. I’m just not ready yet. I need a little more time.
I’d like to pretend for just a little while longer that I am still hip and happenin’. I’m not really dying for those senior discounts at MacDonald’s – I’d rather I got carded. I’m still blaming my poor memory on flightiness, rather than Alzheimers.
I’m not interested in group life insurance, retiring, moving to Florida, or learning to play canasta, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m much too busy washing the cats. Next week, it’s very likely that I’ll still be uninterested. And the week after isn’t looking much better.
So your constant invitations, reminding me of my advanced age, are serving no purpose other than killing trees, and amusing the postwoman. And now that the Boy’s moved out, he’s not even around to give me a hard time about them when they arrive.
So save the trees, and take me off the list. Come back in 10 years or so. We’ll talk then.
And keep those kids out of my yard!