I grew up understanding that there are two kinds of illness: the kind that makes you vomit and the kind that makes you bleed.
If you have a vomity illness, you require ginger ale.
If you have a bleedy injury, you need to walk it off.
Anything else is malingering.
You’ll notice that in this view, there is really only ONE kind of illness – physical.
There IS no mental illness, only mental weakness. And if folks would just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and pull themselves together, everyone would be just fine.
2WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWF3G (sorry, that was Squiggle. He likes to “help”.)
So imagine my consternation when I took a magazine quiz the other day and discovered that I am THE gold standard of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.
Come, take it with me. You’re supposed to rate each statement on a scale of 0 to 3, 0 being “not at all like me”, to 3 being “JUST like me”.
I tend to overlook details.
I prefer to think of it as “big-picture” thinking, okay? I’m a visionary, not an actuary. 2.
It’s hard for me to listen for long periods of time in meetings.
You mean there are people who find it EASY to listen for long periods of time in meetings?!? 3.
I wander from one task to the next without completing them.
We call this “multi-tasking”. The tasks get finished, but not in one fell swoop. 2.
I jump from topic to topic in conversation.
This is a bad thing? Then why did they invent the word “non-sequitor”? I can’t help it if you can’t follow my inner monologue which is running at light-speed, while I wait for the rest of you slow people to catch up. 3.
I tend to fidget or doodle.
Um. Yeah. 3.
I interrupt others during conversations, even when I try not to.
Um, I don’t THINK I do this. Do I? 0.
It seems much harder for me compared with others to take care of daily tasks.
Do you mean the mind-numbing minutiae that can eat up every day if you let it, like paying bills, cleaning the house, scooping the kitty litter, feeding the family, etc? 3.
I pick up and drop hobbies and interests.
You have only to follow this blog for the SMALLEST period of time to know THAT. 3.
I have difficulty planning ahead.
I DON’T plan ahead. 3.
What were we saying? 3.
I frequently misplace personal objects.
My home and office are cluttered and messy.
No comment. 3.
I tend to run late.
I HATE arriving late to anything, and am usually the first one to arrive. 0.
I have difficulty developing routines for me or my family.
Meal planning is challenging for me.
See this post. 3.
I often start reading books but rarely finish them.
Sadly, this is true these days, more often than not. 3.
If this were elementary school, I’d ace this quiz. Gold stars for me. Yay!
Alas, I’m not sure if I need ginger ale or to “walk it off”.