Dear Quartermaster Fairy,
I’m already well acquainted with the tooth fairy, my fairy godmother, and the fairies that you had to leave food on your plate for. I’m wondering if those are the same folks living at the bottom of the garden. But no matter, and probably something that falls outside of your department, anyway.
I don’t like to complain.
Really, I don’t.
But the issue of the Hello Kitty band-aids has reached crisis proportions.
I am SURE I sighed VERY deeply and audibly several weeks ago upon finding out that we had become perilously low on my precious stash of Hello Kitty band-aids. I believe I might even have said something out loud, in my very best passive-aggressive fashion… something like “Oh dear, it looks like we’re running out of Hello Kitty band-aids.”
I had thought that would be enough.
After asscat once AGAIN decided no episode of sheet changing would be complete without bloodshed (I know, you are shocked … SHOCKED), I race downstairs for the first aid kit – kept in a Twinings Earl Grey tea tin in the powder room – ONLY to discover…
…we are STILL out of Hello Kitty band-aids.
And let me tell you, tropically-themed band-aids, while very colorful, are NO replacement.
I would appreciate your attention to the matter at your very earliest convenience.